Here at the Quibbler, we’ve stumbled across some canonical evidence that might just prove it true! Though it could all be unfounded nonsense and suspicious coincidence.
Ron Weasley and Albus Dumbledore (may his soul rest in peace and not pieces) both have (had in poor Dumbledore’s case), long thin noses. In his youth Albus Dumbledore had red hair, as does Ron Weasley aka our king who didn’t let the quaffle in, and winner of the punching above his weight competition 1999. Furthermore, Ron Weasley and Dumbledore both have scars (Dumbledore’s is on his left leg, Ron’s isn’t confirmed as left but isn’t denied as left either).
There is of course the issue that Harry Potter (that’s right, the Chosen One) has seen pictures of the young Dumbledore (who we hear was quite a looker). Harry has also seen him in other’s memories. Now whilst many critics of both the series and Harry as an individual have noted he’s highly unobservant, surely even he would recognise that Albus Dumbledore looked suspiciously like his best friend; or at least his best friend’s family. That is, even if ‘young’ Dumbledore is actually 40 year old Ron (and we’ll come back to this issue later on), Harry meets many individuals (the older Weasley men, or at least Arthur Weasley) who look like what an older Ron might look like.
Of course there’s the theme of socks. According to Harry, Dumbledore only actively lied to him once and that was regarding what he saw in The Mirror of Erised. Now there’s a bigger problem with that, the problem being that Dumbledore whilst not actively lying probably knowingly misled and manipulated Harry more than once. Harry just wasn’t aware of it. But anyway, Dumbledore claims to see socks. Rowling confirmed via Twitter (a Muggle social media platform which forces users to keep social interaction short), that Dumbledore actually saw his family alive and well. Both Hermione Weasley (nee Granger); Ron’s wife, and Molly Weasley; his mother, enjoyed knitting and enjoyed knitting items such as socks. Perhaps the ‘lie’ wasn’t that much of a lie. Hermione would know to give Ron socks rather than books, and so Dumbledore’s comment that once again he has been given books rather than socks can be seen as a reference towards the fact that he is actually Ron Weasley. Of course this is both completely coincidental and a little bit ridiculous, even for us Quibbler writers; but, the theory must be played out in full.
Dumbledore was 115 at the time of his death, and claimed in his ‘youth’ to have eaten a vomit flavoured Bertie Bott’s Every Flavoured Bean. Bertie Bott was not born until 1935, and Dumbledore could not have eaten one until at least the 1950s, and therefore whilst youth is a relative term, there is still some discrepancy here. Both Dumbledore’s statement, and Bott’s birthdate are considered canonical. This discrepancy can easily and believable be explained as a mishap on the behalf of the author. However it can also be considered evidence to support the ravings of a delusional Quibbler writer; as Ron Weasley did have access to these so called ‘every flavoured’ jelly beans in his youth. Furthermore, both Weasley and Dumbledore share an uncanny fondness of candy and sweets.
Dumbledore seems to know everything and avoid Ron at all costs just like a time traveller avoiding his future/past (depending on how you’d look at it) self would. This means as Dumbledore he’s lying about everything he doesn’t know, and allowing things to happen at the right pace because he knows he can’t actually change anything. Or can he?
See, if we ignore the fact that we have documentation in the series of Dumbledore’s childhood, his friendship or romantic involvement with Grindelwald, and his career as a young man; going back in time without being prepared is something Ron Weasley might do. Ignoring the whole Cursed Child thing, what we know from the series is that Ron and Hermione have a bunch of kids and Harry’s scar doesn’t hurt. But you get survivors from every regime, little cruel people who cling on to their wicked ideas and desire to hurt others. Imagine Hermione Granger gets hurt beyond recovery in say 2020, by a neo-Death Eater. By this point she’s Minister of Magic (according to Rowling anyway), so it causes political uproar and questions regarding the actual safety of Muggle born and non ‘pure’ blood wizards and witches. So Ron does what Ron does and acts rashly and without researching it; because time travel has never been something he’s had to think about, he didn’t have Hermione warn him about the inability to change the past without dire consequences, he’s never had to deal with it.
So entertaining this non-canonical fanfiction-esque theory: Ron decides the best way to stop his wife’s death is to go back in time, and so he takes the time turner (one Harry confiscated perhaps) and goes. He crashlands and he doesn’t know where he is or what era it is, maybe he’s overshot the mark. And someone asks his name and he has to think quickly and so he says ‘Albus Dumbledore’. And on that note; if anyone’s read Terry Pratchett’s Night Watch, you’d know you can explain away the whole ‘Albus Dumbledore has a childhood and youthhood referenced in the text’ in this way i.e. maybe the real Albus died around this time (and with no one bar his brother around to contest the appearance of a ‘new Dumbledore’) and maybe, just maybe Ron could get away with ‘replacing’ him.
But of course, he realises Voldemort hasn’t risen to power yet. He starts researching time travel, and finds out he can’t change the future, but that doesn’t stop him trying with something small. Then he realises, the ‘real’ Dumbledore isn’t there, he’s the real Dumbledore. So he gets his job at Hogwarts, and he prepares himself for Tom Riddle to show up. He’s super suspicious of him when no one else is, because he knows what he becomes. But he thinks, maybe he can change him. Because he thought he’d be able to stop him, but every time traveller ever thinks they can stop the evil guy if they just go back in time and kill him while he’s young and weak. Except he can’t. Because Ron isn’t a child killer, even if it’s the most evil child of all time, because 11 year old Ron might have told him to do it, but Harry’s made him better than that.
All of this is of course fantastical nonsense; which is what we like here at the Quibbler. But even we think that this kind of theory is best reserved for fanfiction, or a non-canonical play about time travel set in the post-Voldemort Harry Potter world. (Coming soon: Harry Potter and How I Would Have Avoided the Conflicting Presentation of Time Travel).
There’s also the whole issue of sexuality. Now whilst we only have the word of God (aka the author) that Albus Dumbledore is a gay man, it is accepted as canon. Because this is the 21st century. Sexuality doesn’t effect the wizard’s ability to be a headmaster and rival of a dark wizard. We assume Ron is heterosexual. Maybe because he has romantic relationships with women, and comments on women’s looks. Maybe because heteronormativity is ingrained into our souls. Furthermore Rowling said ‘gay’ and that often becomes an umbrella term that doesn’t just mean ooh he likes men aka a certain Gelert. One redditor claimed that due to differences in sexuality, Dumbledore and Ron couldn’t possibly be the same person. This as a blanket statement is quite frankly wrong.
There are so many reasons why Dumbledore and Ron are not the same person. But the whole gay straight thing is just not a valid argument in my opinion.
Sexuality is fluid. It’s fluid even if we assume Ron’s straight, and he may not be ( 1. Because there are more sexualities than ‘gay’ and ‘straight’ and leading from that 2. Even wizards can be in the closet and if you’re in the closet you’re not going to be openly commenting to even your best friend about the fact that you actually find Oliver Wood kind of cute), and we take word of God that Dumbledore is gay (and why shouldn’t we? Because sexuality ultimately doesn’t matter because it’s just a part of life), and that to be gay in a semi-conventional sense.
That wouldn’t mean that Ron’s relationship with Hermione didn’t count. That it wasn’t real.
Because once more for the people at the back: sexuality is fluid, and a changing sexuality doesn’t make your previous feelings or relationships invalid.
Are Dumbledore and Ron the same person? Probably not.
Does Ron Weasley have a tattoo he doesn’t want anyone, especially his wife to know about? Probably. Although this fact is just as non-proveable as the whole time-travelling-Dumbledore-theory, it’s far more likely. Evidence? He has many brothers, he got married outside of war time, he probably had a stag-do and Harry probably made jokes about that. Most importantly; it’s what Fred would have wanted.
Last week’s results are in, and as we know in the Wizarding World, the truth is whatever the public consensus is. See: is Voldemort really back? Not if we only have the word of some teenage wizards and a rambling old man. Is Hermione Granger a werewolf? Two of you were convinced by the argument put forth, most of you thought it belonged in the realms of fanfiction, and a fair few of you deemed it slander.
(Editor’s Note: apologies to Mrs Hermione Weasley, we meant no offense or that the article be considered an accusation, as in this day and age werewolfism is easily manageable and nothing to be ashamed of. Furthermore we accept the suggestion made by one reader that if Mrs Weasley were a werewolf she would probably be very vocal about it due to the nature of her personality. We at the Quibbler are advocates of werewolves rights to be active parts of this community, and are proud sponsors of Werewolf Pride and are happy to announce that leading experts believe that with the reduced number of attacks each year, and that it has now been proven a non-hereditary disease that werewolfism may die out by 2200).